Deprivation
by LiveLaughLove5
Summary: Fuji believed in forever. Specifically, Fuji believed that Tezuka would stay with him forever. He didn't understand how naive that belief was, until it was too late.


Fuji had always loved Tezuka. Ever since he saw Tezuka defy their senpais, a warm feeling would blossom inside of him every time he saw his buchou. Fuji kept his attraction a secret, holding it close to his heart, jealously guarding it as if it was a coveted prize.  
Everyday, he considered confessing his attraction to Tezuka. Every night, he would dream about Tezuka's lips brushing his own. Tezuka became almost an obsession for Fuji. He was so accustomed to standing by Tezuka's side that Fuji unconsciously started shifting to match his companion's movements.

* * *

In Fuji's opinion, spontaneous could only belong in a sentence with Tezuka if there was the word "not" in there somewhere. The tensai was proved wrong when one day, Tezuka suddenly came up to him, pushed him roughly against a locker, and kissed him so ardently that Fuji's knees when weak. The only thing that registered in Fuji's mind was that Tezuka's lips were softer in reality than in his dreams.

* * *

From that day on, Fuji almost never left Tezuka's side. That wasn't a drastic change, but the butterflies that fluttered through Fuji's stomach whenever Tezuka's hand brushed his were certainly new. They belonged to each other, and they were happier than most couples were. Fuji couldn't even begin to imagine a life without Tezuka next to him. After all, three years together had to count for something.

* * *

"So, we're going to the same university. That'll be fun, ne Ku-ni-mit-su?" Fuji glanced teasingly at Tezuka, waiting for the smile that always flickered across his face when Fuji drew out his name to appear. It never came. "Aa. But don't compromise your future for me."  
Tezuka's words puzzled Fuji. How could he be compromising his future if Tezuka was his future? Continuing on, Tezuka seemed oblivious to Fuji's perplexity. "You don't need to follow me all the way to America. You got into the best photography college in Japan. Are you ready to leave Yuuta and your family behind?"  
Fuji snuggled up to Tezuka, "Anything for you." Unknown to Fuji, his gentle whisper caused a flicker of pain to flit across Tezuka's face. 'I know Fuji. I just wish...'

* * *

Fuji hadn't seen Tezuka smile like that in a very long time. It was so gentle, so pure, and complete happiness broke though Tezuka's stoic mask. Usually, that beautiful smile and those soft, loving eyes made Fuji's heartbeat erratic. This time, it broke his heart, because Tezuka was smiling at someone else.

* * *

He carefully appraised the girl. She was tall, with waist-length wavy black hair. Her brown eyes sparkled with happiness, and her carefree smile was infectious. She was innocent, not sadistic like Fuji.  
For someone who knew Tezuka as well as he did, it was obvious that his buchou had fallen for her.

* * *

Fuji knew that his happiness was temporary. His relationship with Tezuka was slowly breaking apart, being torn apart by the seams ever since Tezuka met that girl. They hardly ever laughed together, and argued over little things-the restaurant they would eat, the movie they would watch, almost every conceivable thing. It was inevitable. Fuji just prayed that he wouldn't lose his composure when Tezuka left him.

* * *

Tezuka grabbed Fuji and kissed him roughly. This kiss wasn't like the many short, sweet ones that used to rain down on his lips, or like the deep passionate ones that could make him forget everything.  
A heartbeat later, Tezuka drew back with a resigned look on his face. Their spark had deserted them. They both knew it; the only thing that remained was to say it aloud.

* * *

"Syuuske...we need to talk" Something in Tezuka's voice caused Fuji's head to snap up. "Yes?" he offered hesitantly. "Fuji," Tezuka sighed, "This is very difficult for me." With a flash of understanding, Fuji smiled sadly, "It's ok, Tezuka. Go to her. I understand." "You do?" Tezuka said incredously, "I mean...well, that's good. I'm really sorry that it ended like this. Still, we can be friends."  
" Yes," Fuji echoed lamely, "friends".

* * *

Fuji's heart was breaking, ripping into innumerably parts. His legs collapsed under him, and he gave into the tears that had been threatening since Tezuka left. How could Tezuka leave him? Was he that replaceable? Did four years count for nothing? Did Tezuka ever love him? Or was he just amusement to help pass the time?  
His furious sobs echoed with pain and loss. Fuji wanted to rip out his heart, and throw it away. He wanted to stop it from mournfully pumping Tezuka's name through his body. It hurt too much. Each second only increased his sense of helplessness. Fuji couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He has sacrificed everything for a man who threw him aside like an old toy when he lost his appeal. Yet, Fuji wanted to see Tezuka smiling at him again. Fresh tears poured down at his naivety. Tezuka was never going to come back. Fuji was all alone now.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of his third year of college, Fuji's heart stopped lurching whenever he saw Tezuka and that girl together. When he saw Tezuka gently place a kiss on her lips, tears didn't spring to his eyes. He feelings slowly faded, the pain and betrayal washed away by the waves of time. It got to the point when Tezuka asked him to be his best man for his wedding, Fuji accepted with a smile.

**A/N: Ok, so the title sucks. Anyway, please review! I will give you virtual cupcakes if you do! Yay! ^_^**


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